We've all heard of the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie

And if you haven't heard of it...go read it as fast as you can

There are a lot of good pointers in the book, but one section that's often overlooked is when he talks about the power of genuine, lavish praise

In other words, if you want to influence people, don't forget to praise them

I use this concept all the time with my kids

Yesterday I got my 4 year old son some new monster trucks off Amazon (buying impromptu gifts for my kids on Amazon is a burgeoning weakness of mine...)

Of course, as soon as our youngest saw the trucks, he wanted to play with them too

And our older son, somewhat surprisingly, willingly and immediately shared the trucks with his brother

I thought of How to Win Friends in that moment...

So I said:

"Great job, son! What a great sharer you are! You shared your trucks with your brother! What an awesome big brother you are!"

The look of pride on his face was unmistakable...

And the rest of the evening he went out of his way to share with his brother, even remarking to us, "I want to share because I want to help my brother."

I talk all the time about how you should tell people they already have the traits you want them to have

This example is in line with that

For praise to be effective in changing behavior, it should hit these bullet points:

• Make sure it's genuine and sincere
• Be as specific as possible about the behavior you're praising
• Do it publicly, or even direct it to another person while the subject of the praise can hear

Do these things, and you've got another powerful tool in your belt to help guide your kids and have better relationships in general.

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Sincerely,

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